08/16/07 by Garvar at 11:08pm EST

The "Internet Police" now a physical entity !!!

Yup, that's right, the mythical INTERNET POLICE actually exists. This cyberspace vigilate goes by the name of Wayne Crookes, and he stands for the censorship of all evil-doers! Scathing bloggers beware: your time will soon be at hand!

If you live in Canada. You non-Canadians, particularily Americans...you're pretty much in the clear on this. But stay with me.

I was watching CBC after a long shift at work followed by an equally strenuous Guitar Hero set when I decided to grab a bottle of Smirnoff, sit down with the resident family, and lounge in front of the news, when this little tidbit of internet kindling came around.

The Chief of Internet Police himself, laying his eLife on the line day after day without a word of thanks.

Wayne Crookes, allegedly a businessman, has apparently been struck with the same capricious arrow of lunacy that once skewered the infamous Jack Thompson. The march against videogames is at its end, and now the War on Internets is beginning. Companies such as Yahoo, Google and above all else Wiki-fucking-pedia are being sued for "liable content". What's more, if you so much as link to these sites, you can become the target of Jack Thomp-er, rather, Mr. Wayne Crookes' next bout of delerium.

Oh, fuck. Oops.

Anyhow, I never really followed the Jack Thompson parade around until the dust of the aftermath had already settled (for the most part), but seeing as I enjoy both videogames and the INTERNET, I'll put forth my best efforts to bring to light any new developments that readers are too lazy to find themselves, and then make fun of it.

Moreover, I extend to you, Mr. Crookes (that name works so much better than JTs, I must say) an invitation to complain, followed by a dash of legal threatening and a pinch of lawsuit, about this here news post. Or dare I say, "blog", but I should refrain from usage of that term, as it must be synonymous to venom for you at this stage of the game.

Though, if I do have your attention, Mr. Crookes, if you happen to know the url to any blogs about midget porn, I'm all ears! Yours truly,
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